“During this time, I’ve been finding myself at the intersection of two mostly opposing feelings: concerned and hopeful. ”
It has been quite interesting to witness how others have been responding to the COVID-19 pandemic as well as to notice things about my own process through it all. I find myself having different feelings about our new “normal.” During this time, I’ve been finding myself at the intersection of two mostly opposing feelings: concerned and hopeful. I have also discovered the many layers of what social distancing has looked like for other people (sometimes it’s not so bad — thank you social media!). However, I am also aware how it has been particularly isolating and difficult for some. Perhaps living alone is bringing on your own sense of loneliness and disconnection or your living situation isn’t the safest option during social distancing. There might be some grief and loss of the things you have had to cancel or miss like the trip you would have taken, the conference you were supposed to attend, or the job you looked forward to.
For me, there’s a sense of eeriness and sometimes groundlessness to this whole experience. And that’s when my need to feel a sense of belonging and community really comes into focus. In order to regain a connection to myself and to a more grounded reality, I have been FaceTime-ing/video calling people whom I love dearly. I find myself craving to slow down and rest. In that slowing down – I’ve been reading Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown and All Along You were Blooming by Morgan Harper Nichols. I am delighted to have found new communities like #readyourbook (check it out here) and Sister Insider Club, a new and interesting reading community I have joined. Finding different communities in the midst of all these changes can be critical in feeling connected and like you belong.
words by Jamie Tworkowski, founder of To Write Love on Her Arms
In Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown writes about the meaning of true belonging. In her signature mix of storytelling and research, Brown shares how we can journey back to ourselves and to one another in order to connect more authentically. Feeling like we belong is critical. It is a “deep sense of belonging that we are hardwired to crave” (Brown, 2017 p. 51). Reading about belonging has brought me a sense of grounded-ness. Poems by Morgan Harper Nichols have brought lightness and positivity amidst of all the unknown.
I was curious to hear how others were staying connected to their community or how they were finding community, and how they were managing social distancing and still feel like they belong. So, I asked people in my life the following question: what are you doing to stay connected to your community and feel like you belong?
Almost everyone responded with reaching to someone outside of their home like family, significant other, and friends whether it be through text, video call, or phone call. Additionally, going on walks has brought some peace as it provides the ability to greet neighbors, of course, making sure they are 6 feet apart. Others have continued to feel connected through constant interactions with co-workers via Zoom meetings.
I have also noticed something beautiful, a coming together of sorts to help others in the community. Some examples I’ve witnessed have been people asking their neighbor if they need anything from the grocery store, supporting small business via online purchasing, and neighbors within their building asking each other if they are in need of anything. I have taken note about how some small business have shifted in times of crisis to protect and provide for the community. I have been in awe of how we are coming together to help others. Places like Hail Mary Pizza are incredibly inspiring; they are providing free cheese pizza pies to all service industry workers (during specific times) who have lost their jobs as well as donating pies to hospitals.
The shift in our daily routine has us figuring out how to do life without going into the office/workplace, going out for a dine-in meal, or going to class. In this shift, I’ve noticed the attempts our collective community has taken in order to stay connected. There has been virtual dance parties, mini concerts by musicians, enjoying dinner virtually with friends, and virtual hangouts. I hope you are finding ways to stay connected in your community and that you are reaching to people that make you feel like you belong…because you do.
Image by Morgan Harper Nichols
Paloma Franco, MS, is a Registered Psychological Assistant #PSB94024942 working under the supervision of Gabrielle Taylor, PhD, PSY# 22054. Paloma is a bilingual (Spanish & English) therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families to address a variety of issues, including anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, and cultural challenges.
