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marriage and family therapist

Greeting Change in Your Life: Lessons Learned from Ayurvedic Specialist Rita Burgos

Greeting Change in Your Life: Lessons Learned from Ayurvedic Specialist Rita Burgos

Summer’s twilight is upon us.  And this is your friendly (near end of summer) reminder that change behooves us to be extra gentle, tender, and compassionate with ourselves.

The new season may bring small and/or large scale changes into your life.  You will gladly welcome some of these changes — ones that you will find to be necessary, refreshing, healing, even.  As a result, you may become more connected to your authentic self.  And other changes will be thrust upon you unexpectedly – in ways you could not have imagined. They may cause you to wrestle begrudgingly with yourself, with others, or both.  It can take some time before moving from a place of resistance to a place of acceptance. 

Often times, you cannot determine WHEN change happens, HOW it happens, WHO it happens to, or IF it even happens at all. But nevertheless, change is the movement that gets us in touch with our aliveness.
Rita Burgos

Rita Burgos

When the growing tribe of clinicians here at Michelle Harwell Therapy gathered for our weekly professional training in late June, we were treated to a talk on “Routines & Rhythms” by Rita Burgos.  Rita is a local Clinical Ayurvedic Specialist and Classical Yoga Nidra who is deeply passionate about wellness and holistic healing.  Her calm, centered presence in the group meeting room quickly signaled to me that she had wisdom to offer. 

One thing Rita said that struck me on a personal level went something like this, “The things you can control, or count on, give you much more strength and grounding to handle the things you cannot control in life.”

Oh, how I knew this statement to be so true ! She was totally speaking my language!  And what a timely reminder it was for me, and I’m sure many others, in that moment. 

Rita spoke in further detail about the daily routines that align us with nature’s rhythm each day, each week, each month, each year.  I walked away with a sense of wanting to – no, needing to – live more attuned with my body’s natural cues and needs, more in sync with the natural order of the world. 

My ongoing personal takeaway from Rita was that healthy habits can give us a grounding framework for living and thriving, especially when experiencing overwhelming or destabilizing change.

Often times, you cannot determine WHEN change happens, HOW it happens, WHO it happens to, or IF it even happens at all. But nevertheless, change is the movement that gets us in touch with our aliveness. It is a necessary ingredient for growth.

What feels grounding to me, particularly in the face of change? Good sleep hygiene, healthy food intake, practicing the “pause” (mindfulness), physical exercise, a creative outlet, a good soak in nature, plenty of unstructured down-time, solitude, and connecting in meaningful ways with like-minded humans.

What feels grounding to you? The following questions may be helpful for checking-in with yourself.

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Tracy Lee, LMFT, offers holistic, culturally-sensitive therapy. She is especially passionate about serving Asian-Americans facing unique cultural challenges, identity issues, and intergenerational conflict.

Women are Weird

Women are Weird

We’re a little too alive to be contained by some static definition!

What does it mean to be a woman? That question will never be fully answered, and I like that. Of course, women share certain experiences, and on the whole, some common traits that we've come to label as "feminine." But unique or unusual experiences and traits spring out of us as well. We're a little too alive to be contained by some static definition!

I love that about being a woman. If there is a definition to what it means to be a woman, it's constantly being further defined or even redefined. And I think it's pretty cool to be part of that defining process. I am grateful for the legacy of women who've gone before me and were willing to be weird enough that they challenged our definition of womanhood. They stretched out the definition to give us a bit more room to roam about and find our potential. When they were willing to be weird ladies, they made it a little easier for us to be weird too. Thanks weird women. What a delightful bunch of marbles we all are!


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Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.


Allison (Allie) Ramsey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Therapist. Allie works with individuals on a broad range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relational challenges, faith integration, divorce, and aging. 

Women Are Healers

Women Are Healers

...What has most shaped me as a woman is the way my relationships with other women have healed me.

As I scroll through the catalogue of my experiences both as a woman and as a recipient of love and friendship from other women, I am reminded of how many descriptors women embody. We are creative, resourceful, wise, wild, deep. And we wear so many hats. We have thriving careers, bear children, foster friendships, build businesses, care for the home — yes, sometimes overextending ourselves to show up for and love others. But what has most shaped me as a woman is the way my relationships with other women have healed me. The turning toward me in times of distress and offering care and compassion. The deep listening. The calming “coos” and soft body language. The gentle patience while I find the answers for myself.

Women are healers. I know that to be true deep in my bones. And I believe women are the antidote to the overly masculinized culture that has forced a broken, patriarchal system on us all.

I think of the places I work - MHT and Alive and Well Women – both with powerful women at the helm who use their strengths to lift others. These women are willing to collaborate and dialogue with their employees rather than prescribe solutions. They do not manage with absolute control or over-emphasize productivity, but instead empower employees to find balance in work life and soul life. They have cultivated cultures that nourish development and health.

It is not to say that men can’t also lead in this way, but I believe it is a mode of leadership that is perhaps archetypally connected to the feminine. Our history of men in the seats of power and the attendant systemic oppression of women seems to bear testament to this. However, the impact of women in my life and this powerful changing of the tide that I have been fortunate to witness in my young adult years has taught me to embrace the strength of my femininity and has given me hope for a different way.

Women are HEALERS.


HERE'S HOW YOU CAN PARTICIPATE IN DRESSEMBER WITH US:

Give! Visit our Dressember page and make a donation. It's that simple and no sum is too small. Truly.

Follow! Be sure to follow us on Instagram and our blog throughout the month of December. We will be documenting our fierce fashion choices but our deepest intention is to empower and educate.

Share!  Help us spread the word. You can do this by sharing our social media posts or links to our Dressember fundraising campaign page.


Lauren Joy Furutani, MA, LMFT, helps individuals and families of all ethnic and faith backgrounds maneuver through the unexpected turns in life.

The Delights of Nature

The Delights of Nature

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How delightful are these ornamental corn cobs? If you could pick one up and hold it in your hands, you’d get to feel the texture of the bumpy kernels, smooth and knobbly, you’d notice how glossy and bright each kernel appears, and if you looked closer, you’d see the amazing depth of color trapped beneath the surface of each membrane, the hues of red, purple, and blue. Each kernel is like a rare gem - a cob like a chest of rubies and sapphires!

As an adult I don’t take the time to soak in the details of nature like this very often. My delight in these corn cobs (and the imaginative lens to see them as gems) is a remnant from my childhood. When I was about 9 to 12, I used to become completely absorbed in studying the five or so ornamental corn cobs my mom would set out as part of the fall decor every year. I remember feeling a sense of wonder studying these corn cobs, amazed at how beautiful a vegetable could be! (Ha!)

Maria Montessori, whose philosophy of education is popular today, was a careful observer of children and how they learn, especially in nature. She noticed that when children are given time to freely explore the natural world, they often become instinctive students, natural scientists, absorbed in the details of grass, bugs, rocks and so on. And beyond showing impressive attention and observational skills, she noticed the emotional effect that this kind of time out in nature tended to have on them as well - the way they seemed to grow more fulfilled, happy, and serene.  

I think it’s fair to say it can have a similar effect on us as adults, too! This fall, whether its with your kids or your own inner kid - I hope you’ll make it outside to enjoy the sights, smells, and textures of nature.


Allison (Allie) Ramsey is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Therapist. Allie works with individuals on a broad range of issues, including anxiety, depression, relational challenges, faith integration, divorce, and aging.